In this picture, I am 21 years of age – and in my first semester of Master’s. As you can clearly see, it is from Undergrad graduation day. The man on my left… is my father. He passed away on the 10th of December 2025 after a prolonged illness that lasted for 3 months. My lack of updates was because I was spending whatever time I could with him in the hospital… while anticipating grief. The doctors had told us in October – “Prepare yourselves”. Knowing that it will happen and it happening? Both are completely different beasts.
As an only child, I did not have a favorite parent. The psychology of only children who are brought up in a loving environment… is different. There are some things you share with your Dad. And some things that you share with your Mom. And both nurture a different part within you to make who you become.
It is not an exaggeration for me to say that I am who I am because of the two people who gave me life. I grew up seeing my Mom and Dad read. I saw my Mom dance to tunes in the kitchen. I saw my Dad laugh to British comedies. I saw my Mom paint landscapes on canvas. Neither asked me to be like them… but I did absorb some of their traits. And brought in my own – to become Srividya Bhagavatula.
Loss of a parent in your twenties… is weird. You are at a stage where you are not dependent, but you still need their guidance. And right now, half that guidance… is lost. At a crucial stage. As an unmarried daughter, my dad will never see me walk down the aisle. Hell, I have not fallen in love yet… to even make it there.
He and I shared love for classic movies and books and laughed about them. Now, that is also gone. He inspired me to want to teach… and I always said “Your trainees loved you. I need pointers” Now I will never get those pointers.
What is left are… memories and laughter… and that pain that I know will always be there… but will only dull with time as I learn to live without his presence.
I love you, dad… And I will miss you.
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